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Sheer magnetism

Keep your “out of office” ideas coming in. Andrew Jones at Mainline Digital Communications suggests: “Thank you for your message, your credit card has been charged £5.99 for the first 60 words and £0.45 for each word thereafter. We will contact you once your payment has cleared.”
John Foggitt at SPSL suggests: “I am out of the office and the email server is offline so any messages will be dealt with by the refrigerator. They will be stuck to the side by a strawberry-shaped magnet and will be dealt with when they fall off because the magnet is temporarily removed to attach a new message.”
True words and jests, etc – this would probably accurately reflect the policy of most large companies for dealing with incoming email. More please.

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