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Out-of-office is well out of order

One of our anonymous readers has forwarded a list of out-of-office replies, which may or may not be urban myths.
His – and our – favourite was: “The email server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again,” with the corresponding multiple attempts to reboot and email.
It has inspired in us a desire to raise the humour standard of the average out-of-office message. Any suggestions for an out-of-office that will get the message across but not get you fired? It would be even better if your example has been road-tested in real life.

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