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Rush hour

We bring you exciting news of Dr Phillip Tann, academic, inventor and managing director of Autopoietic Systems, and a man who is not guilty of speeding, despite what the Sunderland police said.
They charged him with doing 42mph in a 30mph zone but Dr Tann, in a coincidence that only he can explain, was testing a device that records exact locations and speeds at the time.
The case was dropped when he revealed he was travelling at 29.177196mph. He plans to release a product soon to let parents know exactly where their children are, which on this evidence – provided they don’t do the obvious teenage thing and leave it at home – will report their location to the nearest millimetre.

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