A short history of language
Thanks, through gritted teeth, to all of you who emailed us to refine, by which we mean to disagree with, our definition of abbreviations and acronyms.
To summarise your response: words such as CBT (compulsory basic training) are shortened phrases, so they are most certainly abbreviated and are abbreviations. An acronym is a word that is made out of the initial letters of a phrase, so CBT fails, but Nato is indeed an acronym.
Which leaves initialisms: some of you decide that it is a stricter form of the acronym, made from the first letters of all the words in the phrase – not missing out ‘the’ or ‘of’ if it spoils the word. Some of you say it is an bbreviation that is not an acronym – CBT again.
And some of you say it is both. Use this information wisely to upbraid your colleagues for their foolish lack of rigour, but please stop emailing us about it.
FLAT lined?
But we are still looking into strategies to give the four-letter acromyn, or FLA, the extra letter it needs. ‘You could try using the SPOTEOI (Sticking Protocol On The End Of It) protocol to convert a FLA into FLAP,’ suggests Jon Fogden at Norwich Union Finance.
Google weather god takes control
The Nasa African Monsoon Multidisciplinary Analyses (Namm) mission is an exciting piece of research.
‘Scientists are using airplanes, sensors, radar, computer modeling programs and Nasa satellites to better understand hurricanes,’ its web page tells us.
‘Some of the Nasa satellites include Aqua, the Tropical Rainfall Measuring Mission (TRMM), and the recently-launched Cloudsat/Calipso satellite.’ It is returning some impressive pictures of hurricanes forming in West Africa. But as Oluwole Kolawole at K4Plus Systems points out, having seen a feature on the project on BBC News 24: ‘I noticed that one of the computers on their aircraft was running Google Earth to map the storm formation. You would have thought that Nasa would use its own World Wind program.’
Visit http://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/hurricanes/archives/2006/hurricane_mission.html, and the pictures are even credited to Google. It may be that Google bought Nasa when we were off for Christmas: we’ll check.
Shoe business
Every week, before we read the Backbytes email, in a spirit of optimism we wonder: ‘What’s on the mind of our readers this week?’
‘Roger Audley described removing half the shoes from Freemans mail-order catalogue; this begged the question: was this all the left shoes or all the right ones?’ asks Rob Gilliam at Reuters Transactions Group.
‘This assumes, of course, that each pair of shoes is stored as two separate items in the database, which could create some interesting fulfilment issues for customers.’ So now we know.
Pint-sized dream
We return to the plans for the retired IT consultant’s ideal pub. Leaving aside naming conventions for a second, John Lang suggests a use for Bluetooth even more practical than incorporating it into a pair of sunglasses.
‘How about Bluetooth pint mugs – with a sensor which invites you to purchase a replacement when the beer level reaches 20 per cent? If connected to a wall outlet, it would give new meaning to the term “please charge your glasses”,’ he says.
Meanwhile, on to the important business of names, The Task Bar suggests Wayne Frostick at Aspen.
Retired Philip Sugden is finding this all a bit too modern. ‘Would something like The Chad & Sprocket, or The Valve & Relay or perhaps Initial Orders not be more reassuring to the older generation?’ he asks, before relapsing into a gentle sleep.
Plain Ridiculous with a capital R
And finally, to CamelCase: the process of sticking uppercase letters where they do not really belong.
‘Should we be calling the technique Camelisation? This is interesting because the origin of the terms lower case and upper case are derived from the trays (cases) in which printers used to keep the pieces of lead that formed the letters,’ says Peter Grossi, bringing to mind images of an obedient Camel holding a box of letters.
‘Surely there is a perfectly acceptable TLA for internal capitalisation namely iIc (inappropriate internal capitalisation),’ says Jim Blair at Hills Road Sixth Form College, which brings us neatly back to where we started.
It’s a PC world for us all then
While we discuss, perhaps for the next couple of years, the subject of acronyms and initialisations, it is best that we get our definitions right.
At least, that is what Richard McLean at Highlands and Islands Enterprise thinks. ‘None of the examples ICT, CBT etc are three-letter abbreviations – although, ‘etc’ is. They are a form of three-letter acronyms, more accurately known as an ‘initialism’. I know, I am a PWL (person without life)’.
We hope none of you are making the same mistake, that would be awful. Meanwhile, we briefly leave the subject of four- and five-letter, um, initialisms, for Stuart Wight to recall a visit to a police station.
‘When I was shown around by a police sergeant I noticed a complete absence of computers in the main admin area. When I mentioned the lack of PCs the sergeant promptly replied: “they’re all showing visitors around at the moment”.’
DOSsing about
And so to the important subject of pub names, which seems to have seized your attention.
‘The DOS House sounds a cool place,’ says Graham Scott at Davenham Parish Council. ‘Or what about the Linux Lounge.’
Both might be a bit cliquey. ‘Could I suggest The Half-Cut and Pasted?’ asks Anthony Shaw. You may. ‘Storage Managers retire to “The RAID Lion”,’ says Barry Brown, who brings puns to this thread from EDS.
We have more to share with you, if you have not lost the will to live.
Dream situation
We have been discussing the correct term for the inadvertent deletion of data: Roger Audley, now at Notts County Council, writes to let us know that when he worked for the Freemans mail order catalogue business, he too experienced the emotion.
‘Where else but from the live online ordering system of a large catalogue company could you succeed in removing all the underwear and half the shoes from everyone in the call centre?’ he asks. And with a single keystroke.
Some of you have a recurring dream a bit like that, don’t you?
All roads really do lead to Rome
This week: a picture to accompany our road sign stories: ‘I promise this has NOT been Photoshopped,’ says Andrew Miller. ‘If anyone doubts it, the sign is in Deruta, near Perugia.’
We are very thorough in our research, but we are going to wait until summer before stealing the Backbytes petty cash and heading to Italy to check.
Further afield, Graham Manning at the Stationery Office writes to say: ‘It is not just India that has interesting road signs – while travelling along the Athi River highway in Kenya we saw a two-metre-high sign that said: “Take Notice: When this sign is underwater, this road is impassable”.’
Don’t get a hump about CamelCase
We love doing research. Even better, we love it when you do it for us. As Brian Rossiter at Process Systems & Services, among many others, points out: ‘The term for composite words including capitalisation is UpperCamelCase or lowerCamelCase, depending on whether or not the first letter is capitalised.’
You see, the big letters are like a camel hump. As the Wikipedia article you all pointed us to reveals, it is also known less elegantly as BiCapitalisation, camelBack, InterCaps, MixedCase or PolyCaps.
‘CamelCase has been sporadically used since ancient times, such as in Scottish names like MacLean,’ the article continues. ‘Then there is CinemaScope in the 1950s and MasterCard in the 1970s, among many others. But it really hit the big time thanks to IT people – and ‘CamelCase’ is first recorded in 1995.
‘If I remember correctly, was coined by Microsoft,’ says John Garvani, who we do not think is correct – if Microsoft had got its way, we might all have names eight letters long, and second names of three letters.
The art of reading sign language
Colin Stuart from the High School of Dundee visited the Republic of Ireland last year. ‘Driving along a road which went uphill, it would not be unusual to find a sign “Slow” followed halfway up the hill by a further one “Slower”. Given the laid-back reputation of the Irish, I was disappointed not to arrive at the top of the hill to find the sign “Easy now”,’ he said.
Back in the UK, Simon Dugmore of the Open University occasionally visits Milton Keynes using the M1 southbound. ‘The first sign reads “Milton Keynes 9 miles” and about 50 yards beyond there’s another sign: “Keep your Distance”.’
Sound advice, we think you would agree.
Poker match
Our regular correspondent John Loader at DotSix Brailling Services has been playing what he calls ‘internet poker’ with his bank.
Last week his account went heavily overdrawn for no apparent reason. John told the bank, who immediately returned the money that had disappeared – apparently stolen.
Unfortunately the money has disappeared again. But he cannot complain about the responsiveness of the bank’s computers, which have written to him offering to double his overdraft limit. ‘Presumably so if I’m defrauded again the thieves can take even more,’ he says.
The embarrassing boss moment
While we are discussing TLAs, ETLAs and beyond, Bob Freeman at Hyder Consulting recalls a meeting four years ago with a potential client.
‘I attended a bidding meeting in regard to the upgrade of a Wan. At one point the client asked what ATM meant and before I had the chance to reply my boss chipped in with the classic “It’s one of those cash machines. You know?”
Needless to say we did not win the commission.’
Pub fiction
We asked you to dream up pub names for the retired IT consultant who wants a place to sip his pint of real ale, and Mark Henning says: ‘Surely the answer is obvious: The Bit Stop.’
Any more suggestions? And does anyone have influence with our friends in the brewing trade? It is about time our IT community’s contribution to their profits was recognised in our British pub names.
Beta standards
If you have not yet investigated the government’s beta test of its e-petitions system, launched in November 2006, here is your chance. Ian Fenn has submitted the petition: ‘We the undersigned, petition the Prime Minister to ensure that any web site launched by the government complies with accessibility standards (WCAG AA at least)’.
Reader Peter Joyce tells us: ‘There’s concern that some of the government’s web sites are not compliant with basic accessibility standards’ – not least the DTI’s £200,000 web site launched in 2006.
If you agree, go to petitions.pm.gov.uk/govaccessibility.
Yesterday’s news
We are always pleased to find that Backbytes is appreciated for more than its pith and fearless investigative journalism.
As regular readers recall, we are much better than our rivals at soaking up animal urine. But that is not all: ‘I find that the paper used for Computing is ideal in terms of size and quality for wrapping up all those potato peelings from the kitchen prior to throwing them in the compost bin. So consider yourselves recycled,’ says Roger Greenwood. ’
Of course, for those of you who are green enough to get the electronic version, this is not currently offered as an option.
Question time
We were discussing the exact term for the time taken to realise that you have accidentally deleted a lot of important files.
Many write to say that this is an ‘ohnosecond’, although strictly that refers to the time taken to realise you have sent an email to the wrong person. ‘The correct term is, in fact, a “sodit”,’ says Peter Grossi at 2k Business Services.
He also raises the first Big Question of 2007: ‘Is there a simple term to describe the use of internal capitalisation when constructing composite words? This technique has migrated from program variables into company names.’
It is about time we had a name for this, and a set of government standards. Shall we start a petition?
Just name it and we’ll fix it
Our bulging email sack confirms what most people involved in the IT business have long-suspected: we might not always be great at solving a problem but we are right there when it comes to naming it.
After all, only when you have named a problem and rechristened it an ‘issue’ can you safely call in some consultants who will charge you for measuring it. Luckily we have you to do all that stuff for us for free.
‘Does this mean that a four-letter abbreviation will become a Flea (Four-Letter Extended Abbreviation)?’ Chris Bridges at NES Technical Support asks.
‘Five or more words abbreviated can be referred to as a Setla – Super Extended Tla,’ says David Salter at Lancope, who has spotted a continuing revenue stream in all of this; though Steve Messenger at Reuters suggests ‘EETLA’ – Extra Extended Three-Letter Abbreviation.
In which case, even better. We have the potential for a standards war.
Ultimatum
After the small controversy about the ‘ultimate journey planner’ in December, ultimateness is catching: ‘Microsoft has just released “Windows Vista Ultimate”,’ points out Paul Burkimsher in Geneva.
‘My Oxford English Dictionary defines ultimate as “The last in a series; putting an end to further development,”’ he says.
Is Microsoft not telling us something, or is it just wishful thinking from the team who spent all those long years developing it?
Blue little toys
This week’s innovative Bluetooth device: ‘To stop yourself looking stupid you could have Bluetooth cufflinks so when you talk to people you look like you are working for the CIA, or if you take a call for a colleague you could say “talk to the hand”,’ says David Redeyoff at Manson Insurance Group.
And this week’s barmy Bluetooth invention was brought out for an excited public last year by the Cool & Groovy Toy Company (www.thetoy.co.uk). The toy in question is ‘a high tech vibrating bullet’, otherwise known as a Bluetooth vibrator that you activate by SMS.
It is available in black, silver, blue, purple and orange.
Licensed to thrill
Your collective whistles have been wet by pub names for retired IT people, as Graham Foster turned his home into a licensed premises.
First up is Gary Cailes, who proposes The Control-Break, while Mark Mylchreest at British Engines has been particularly busy, suggesting the likes of The USB Hive, The Blue Screen and The Chip and Pin.
He scores extra points for tying up Backbytes threads, by suggesting The Blue Tooth, where no doubt devotees of weird Bluetooth devices can meet after dark to show off their cufflinks.
David Harcourt, meanwhile, likes the Agreed Downtime, ‘And if the premises sell cheese and cooked meat, he’d have to call it The Ctrl-Alt-Deli,’ he adds.
HP causes a right old hiccup
Try reading this one out to yourself: John Veness at Magdalen College, Oxford University received it from HP, or as we must now call the company, H! P!
‘Thank you FOR your purchase OF HP Care Pack Services,’ it says. ‘TO activate your purchase, you must register AS soon AS possible. Registration OF your HP Care Pack ensures expert, responsive support FROM Hewlett-Packard OR a Hewlett-Packard authorised service provider. Special note TO Resellers: The service will ONLY be activated AND valid once the registration process has been completed. You may register the service ON behalf OF your customer OR you may forward this email….’
And so on. We can only assume that whoever wrote it had the hiccups.
Rest in peace
‘You don’t have to go to Asia for relaxing road signs,’ says John Stenhouse at Ninewells Hospital in Dundee, ‘The sign on the A83 between Ardgartan and Cairndow reads: “Rest And Be Thankful”.’
Oh no it’s not
Just before Christmas Richard Rose suggested that ‘a nanosecond is about the time it takes to realise that you didn’t mean to irretrievably delete all that data’. But someone got there first.
‘The period of time it takes to realise that you did not mean to delete all that data has already been defined – it’s known as an onosecond,’ says David Cochrane at Ingineur.
FYI: an ETA for an ETLA, needed PDQ
The debate still rages into what might be this year’s big technology story: how to extend the TLA.
‘What is the problem?’ you ask. Allow Sue Flower at Elsevier to explain.
‘STDs confuse me – why do you need clinics for dialling codes?’
This is why we need four letters for all three-letter abbreviations from now on. But obviously the first thing to do is to name the ETLA using a suitable ETLA.
‘Computerised reallocation of acronyms protocol,’ suggests Simon Ellison, who really should get himself a job in marketing.
‘No doubt the Europeans would call it an ATLP – acronyme ou abréviation de trois lettres prolongée,’ says Phil Howard-Knight at Bank of America.
‘A TLA is actually already four letters: YABA – yet another bloody acronym,’ says Phil Hodges at Canon.
Sign language
Jonathan Tuliani at Cryptomathic is another reader who can report on interesting Indian roadsigns.
What a well-travelled lot you are, and here were we thinking you never went further than the little bus shelter where you read the column while having a cig.
‘Seen in Sikkim, north-east India: “It’s not rallye, enjoy the valley”’, he says.
‘Go gently on my curves’ adds Amanda Kent, from her experience on a single-track road, if you see what we mean.
Filling a gap in BlueTooth market
Another exciting week for Bluetooth applications. Alec Cawley points out that a search for Bluetooth sunglasses on alibaba.com comes up with a variety of fantastically ugly devices, so we need to be more innovative.
‘Surely one of your readers has come up with the idea of a BlueTooth Blue Tooth Cap, rather than the eighties style gold and silver ones?’ says Jim McKillop at Scottish Enterprise Information Services.
This would become the must-have accessory for all paranoid people – instead of worrying that the government was brainwashing them through their fillings, the secret service could just call their mobile number.
Pub quiz
Graham Foster recently received his new TV licence. Wait. That is not the story.
He notes that the small print says the licence allows ‘use at the licensed premises overleaf’. And the only premises listed overleaf are his house, so he has decided to turn his house into a pub. And as a retired IT consultant he is looking for an appropriate name.
‘I thought The Ringtone would be appropriate but I am sure Backbytes readers will come up with a more appropriate name.’ Well, there is the challenge.
Get flak from the solar cyber jacket
While we are discussing innovation and how to carry laptops through airport security, we commend you to the Solar Cyber Jacket as sold at Neco ‘the eco superstore’ at www.neco.com.au as recommended by reader John Harris.
‘Here’s something very special for the true gadget lover,’ the site tells us.
‘A weatherproof jacket with a solar panel on the back and an amazing array of pockets concealed inside, each with a small hole to wire cables to and fro within the lining of the jacket… some of the 40 pockets are designed for heavy items like PDAs, GPS units or binoculars. You can even carry a laptop computer in the large back pocket.’
On second thoughts, wandering through an airport wearing a bulky jacket with large devices in every pocket and a variety of wires sticking out of them is probably not the quickest way to get through customs.
So there it was, merry Christmas
Bada Din Mubarak, as they say in Hindi. If you are already pining for the spirit of Christmas, we refer you to the Society for the Confluence of Festivals in India at www.christmas-day.org.
What better way to refresh our jaded senses than to look at the traditions of Christmas as taught to the population of India?
Among the things you can learn: ‘Infants may be, don’t understand Christmas but they do feel your concern, your warmth and your love. Gift them that feel. You can gift them soft, warm clothes, a fluffy blanket, a toy or a teether. Mittens look cute’.
And: ‘Santa Claus is also said to possess the habit of entering houses through the chimney.’
It’s more interesting than catching up on your spam.
