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Fat’ll be the day
Shock news: it seems the British lard shortage is actually real – and we just thought it was a silly newspaper story designed to fill space.
‘My mum popped into her local Co-op to buy some lard for her seasonal mince pies and found they had none,’ says Angela Walker, at Skynet Applied Systems. Alan Homer, at Worksuite, reports that his local supermarket has only a gap on the shelf where the lard used to be (this is in Solihull, in case you are thinking of visiting and not bringing your own saturated fats).
‘It’s been that way for at least three or four weeks now,’ he says, suspecting covert government involvement in a bid to change our eating habits. ‘Hopefully, it will return because lardy cake is difficult without the lard… What if lard is the tip of the iceberg? Perhaps butter will be the next in line.’ It hardly bears thinking about.
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